American Apparel: You Got Porn in my Clothes

Or did you get Clothes in my Porn?  I can’t tell.  All I know is that they build one of these stores about every five minutes, although it looked okay from the street, I quickly realized that once you actually wear clothes from this spot, you end up looking like this:

Right, those are the fashion police, and those people look like complete jackasses…from the 70’s.

So I went online and tried to see if there were some other pieces there that a reasonable person could actually wear.  I’m just trying to get my surf on, and end up catching this:

Wait a damn minute.  You ain’t selling clothes. You’re selling booty.  In the interest of the common man and the loyal people here at Us Versus Them…I had to do more research.  Check their print ads.

This girl wears the socks, and nothing else…and they get her off.  By the way, don’t go try to “Meet Lauren Phoenix” at work…she’s a pornstar.  That is why she’s getting her beautiful agony on over there on the left.  She’s a pro.

Come on, what are they selling here?  Draws?  They are selling draws allright, but I’m not talking about the clothes.  I just haven’t decided if I’m buying what they’re selling.

Correction.  I’m buying what they’re selling.  GOOD LAWD.  I don’t even know what they sell anymore, other than the fact that they are using soft porn and booty cheeks to get their point across.  That is spectacular right there. The “Tap Panty”?  As in tap dat ass?  Who comes up with this stuff?  Who owns this place?

Oh, this guy is great.  His name is Dov Charney, and this is how this guy gets down at work. He clearly lost his mind a long, long time ago.  Does that make him crazy, or a genius?  Apparently, he is a walking sexual harassment suit.  American Apparel is growing like crazy, is one of the only American companies to pull off a profit while actually paying people fair wages in America as opposed to importing from China, and seems to have some momentum with the people out there.

The website gets even crazier.  Somehow they claim to be selling clothes even when the people on the website have no clothes on at all.

I’m still not wearing that stuff though.  I’m not down with the low cut, v-neck, male cleavage shirt.

That is turrible gear right there.

-Brock

Comments

  1. Daryl Jackson says:

    That Tap Panty is talking to a nigga. My god. I don’t need that lil pansy at the bottom with the chest hair.

  2. Rock Cutney says:

    Damn, never heard of this gear, but these chicks got me wondering where the mall is. Man, that one picture with the girl in those tights. Imma need some time to myself.

  3. This American Apparel is talking to a nilla. whoo wee..

  4. i knew they had some eye-catching ads (including a big ol’ billboard on houston st in nyc), but that website is downright mesmerizing. yet crazy. what’s up with the slideshow of a holocaust museum right after a slide show of a half-naked chick in leggings? wtf?

  5. That last pic of the chick in the shorts is gangsta. Wonder how the back arch is?

  6. mmm tap panty. and dayam, who is lauren phoenix?

  7. Oh, don’t sleep on the racy AA ads… uh, but don’t sliz-neep on the racist AA materials either. Them cats is all kind of confused. Ya dig?