Top Ten Hollywood Breasts List…YES!

Hey, I didn’t come up with this list but I’m happy to discuss it. You know, as I look down at this InTouch Weekly “Best Hollywood Tits” list, I’m actually kind of embarrassed that I know all these broads. Ahh, who am I kidding, let’s get going on this here list. Now remember, this is the list according to InTouch Weekly.. Not us. But we have plenty to say.

1. Jessica Simpson

Yep, the top titty goes to Jessica Simpson. Wouldn’t have been my choice, but I can live with it.

After all, even her pops said that her ridiculous J’s were top notch.

Now you know you’ve got some serious tittay when pops is peeping them on the slide.

2. Tyra Banks

Say what? Now I know Tyra’s got giant J’s, but does she really belong inside the top three of ALL the breast tah sis in Hollywood?

Sure, her fundamentals are sound and she used to have the rest of the body to go with it. But this is a current J list, not a historical retrospective. The classic Janet song “What Have You Done For Me Lately” seems to come to mind. Answer?

Not enough. Not even close.

3. Scarlett Johansson

Ummmm, HELL YES!!! I’m not sure how it’s possible, but I think this chick is underrated across the board. Maybe it’s the lack of a nude photo shoot and sex tape. Hopefully someone can remedy that. But on the boobs front, she’s LOVELY.

Gotta run that one more gin.

4. Carmen Electra

Huh? Is she even in show business anymore? Why not Pamela Anderson? Hell, Loni Anderson.

And maybe it’s just me, but shouldn’t there be a reasonable expectation that the boobs are actually real if you’re going to call them the 4th best set in all of Hollywood? At least pic a chick with a debate, like Kimmy K…. With Carmen, she’ll tell you her joints are fake. Nah, I can’t support that.

5. Lindsay Lohan

Again, anyone who knows this blog understands my affection for Lindsay Lohan.

She’s one of my favorite celebs and yes, those ridiculous J’s have something to do with it.

On the J front, Lindsay has it all and we’ve seen it all.

You can’t hate, not on this discussion. Definitely underrated and waaaaay under appreciated. Her breasts I mean…lol.

6. Katherine Heigl

I recognize that this near no talent chick would be nothing without the superior boobs, but I just don’t like this broad.

That’s right, I don’t like her, can’t stand that character “Izzy” or whatever it is on Grey’s Anatomy and just can’t get past all the bullshit, yes, even for a pair of advanced J’s like those.

She doesn’t even make my list. Terrible. Though she does look reaaaaaally good in this next pic.

Mercy!

7. Audrina Patridge

Whaaat? You don’t mean to tell me we all feel for that completely transparent “I did some nudes back in the day and now they will be released the day before my show so please make me a star” treatment?

You bet we did. And please note how much she has truly stepped up that belly game. Wow. This babe is everywhere right now. If she had a shred of talent she’d really have something too. Though, I must say, having the nude pictures of her to refer back to whenever I see her looking right in a magazine or online is a nice luxury.

8. Jennifer Aniston

Come on now. Jennifer aint been hot since Ross was hittin’. Again, just too old, too romantic comedy. It’s just not right. Sure she’s got some J’s (NSFW), she wouldn’t be in the business if she didn’t.

But come on. She does not have some of the best tits in all of Hollywood. But these NSFW of Aniston are worth a peep. Half the time she doesn’t even have the best tits in her own relationship. She’s literally not in the same conversation with these other babes. Horrible.

9. Megan Fox

Ah, I don’t buy it. This seems very political. I do like that she stands for the fact that a chick doesn’t have to have monster boobs for them to be sexy, but this chick is not a top flight titty talent.

I mean, come on. She doesn’t have the chops and never will until she orders that full upgrade. Right? She’s got average J’s just for a regular girl, but in Hollywood, she’s squarely below average. Hell, most of the regular women walk around with better ones than that. Not even close.

10. Beyonce

Huh? Did I miss something? I don’t know, maybe B’s tittays wrote the lyrics to “Upgrade”…wait no, that was Jay Z. Curses. I hate to do this because I like Beyonce a lot. But she has no damn business on this list.

I think she’s beautiful, but if you forced me to diss her, right after I spoke on that assortment of unacceptable weaves, I’d go right to the breasts. I mean, she’s keeping it real and natural as she should and she looks damn good chest and all.

So there you have it. Are you satisfied? I’m not. I mean, where was Kim Kardashian, Halle Berry, JESSICA BIEL, hell, Mel B., Gisele….I mean, the list goes on and on. Sorry, I can’t endorse this list period. Let me give you my list.

1. Lindsay Lohan

2. Scarlett Johansson

3. Jessica Simpson

4. Kim Kardashian

5. Salma Hayek

6. Jessica Biel

7. Katherine Heigl (what can I say, that pic is still in my head)

8. Halle Berry

9. Mel B.

10. Audrina Patridge (hey, she’s already been mentioned, what could I do?)

Honorable mention: Serena Williams (don’t sleep)

Then I have to add a section for best fake boobs in the business. Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Tila Tequila, Pam Anderson and Heidi Montage.

Damn, after all that, even I’ve grown tired of tittays. I must be getting really old.

– Lake

Comments

  1. < ![CDATA[lindsey logan has had a breast enhancement

    http://www.celebrityplasticpics.com/linsday_lohan_plastic_surgery.htm

    lindsey logan

    http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/005046.html

    selma hyatt also

    http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/007264.html

    selma hyatt

    http://plasticsergeant.com/home/celebrity/breast-aug/salma-hayek--boob-job

    halle berry also

    http://www.findmysurgeon.com/blog/breast-augmentation/halle-berry-breast-implants/

    halle berry

    http://www.celebrityplasticpics.com/halleberry.htm

    and while were at it.....

    http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=194371]]>

  2. < ![CDATA[kims has fake boobs and tail piece

    tyras are real that is why they are sagging now that shes older

    jessica simpsons are fake along with her lips and hair

    and like tyra, serenas are real as it gets!

    Carmen electra has a boob job also]]>

  3. < ![CDATA[All boobs look good in a great bra and photoshop, the question is how do they look without? I'll bet all those chicks sag and have cellulite, Heigl wishes she looked that good in real life.]]>

  4. < ![CDATA[I don't believe Kim K's butt is fake. Butt implants are not very safe, plus I've seen pics of her as a teen, her ass was big even then and so are her mom and sisters.]]>

  5. < ![CDATA[@Vanessa - I have no proof that Kardashian's Js are fake, until I do, they stand. I saw them in that RayJ and they looked about as real as they come there... Jessica Simpson? come on now.. she's had the big chest since she was a little girl. her sister does too. Just b/c she upgraded the lips doesn't mean she did the same to the tizzits. Agreed on Tyra and Electra had cancer and had to lose one so while she was in there, she just pimped her ride.

    @RoseRed, I agree with you on Kim.. The only thing that's fake on her is that personality... book it!

    People have to remember, the big real breasts must be out there somewhere. That's how people got the idea for upgrade their own. Not everyone has the fake ones. ]]>

  6. < ![CDATA[@Lake: nice list bruh. had to post my short one...

    #1. Scarlet Johan... this is a no-brainer since 'Lost in Translation'! Natural D's. It ain't fair.

    2. Selma Hayek ... having met her in person I'll say that NO picture does this woman justice! She's naturally, insanely blessed. Again, Its just not fair to the rest of hollywood womens. It really ain't.

    3. Lindsay Lohan ... ever since 'Mean Girls' I been like, 'Oh! Its like THAT?!'

    4. 'Harre' Berry ... I thought 'Swordfish' put this debate to rest?!

    5. Jennifer Connelly....the classic 'Labyrinth' chik! Pre-reduction tho. She HAD the best in the biz at one point. What would cause a woman to reduce natural D's?! had me hunting down her direct-to-vid joints (she went full frontal ya'll)

    6. Kimmy K... her joints are ENHANCED, but in a good way :-D At least they look great. There's fake, and there's 'WTF?!' -fake...

    these are WTF-fake http://blogs.vibe.com/ball/00_jkidd_01.jpg

    one up, one down... one east, one west - WTF?!

    7. Jessica Biel.....man, this is one badazz White Girl.

    8) Megan Fox ... shoutout to the natural perky joints. Luv' em!]]>

  7. < ![CDATA[@ Lake: good post as usual! But i gotta say, Hollywood just doesn't have much to offer in terms of breastes-es. We take what we can get. You have a pretty good list.

    Here are my picks (of course lol)

    1) Scarlet Johan. - Helllls yeh! No-brainer since 'Lost in Translation'. Natural D's AND she fine. It ain't fair.

    2) Halle Berry - 'Swordfish' put this debate to rest, imo. Perfect, flawless titties.

    3) Selma Hayek - having met her in real life, she is fuccin AMAZING! Again, just ain't fair to the rest of the womens. Natural D's AND ass? All packed into a 5'2, figure-8 frame? Good Lawd!

    4) Lindsay Lohan - When she's healthy, she's unstoppable.

    5) Jessica Biel - the nicest White Gurl in the game, imo.

    6) Jennifer Connelly - barely in the game, but still - the classic natural D's on a smoking hot brunette can't be faded.

    7) Kim kardash - Her whole persona gets an *. But fuck it, she looks damn good.

    8) Megan Fox - shoutout to the slim, natural perkys! Luv 'em!

    I'ma stop right there.]]>

  8. < ![CDATA[Will Returns:

    @Slick Jeff - YEh bruh, u right. But I never thought of Rosario's breasts tho - just HER in general: the lips, eyes, body, attitude -good lawd! :P(bumped into her here in Austin, my my my...)

    @Lake: dawg, did I miss the UvT special latina tribute to Selma Hayek - one of the baddest Biatches in Hollywood - or did ya'll plan to get around to that? :-)

    http://studentweb.hunter.cuny.edu/students/jladino/Selma%20Hayek.jpeg

    http://pwbeat.publishersweekly.com/blog/wp-content/2007/09/salma_hayek07.jpg

    http://a59.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/37/l_fba116f23333209b490a69137d163492.jpg

    classic figure-8 pose! (Hollywood girlies, pay attention)

    http://shotsdaily.com/gossip/photos/salma-hayek-breasts.jpg

    the NSFW joint... http://www.allcelebrity.ru/nude_pictures/salma_hayek/1.jpg]]>

  9. < ![CDATA[Come on people if this isn't a boob job what is?

    http://plasticsergeant.com/home/celebrity/breast-aug/salma-hayek--boob-job]]>

  10. < ![CDATA[The real Selma Hyatt:

    http://www.celebrityplasticpics.com/salma_hayek_plastic_surgery.htm]]>

  11. < ![CDATA[Will:

    Your girl Halle Berry has the same underpit breast agumentation surgery scar as Does Beyonce.

    They both have breast implants among other things.

    http://plasticsergeant.com/home/celebrity/breast-aug/halle-berry--armpit-scar#t6yrslb6680sC1AnIJjTlQ]]>

  12. < ![CDATA[No doubt Kim K definitely has gotten bigger up top

    Looks like professional stripper tig O" bittys to me... lol

    http://www.theinsider.com/news/48075_Kim_Kardashian_Before_Plastic_Surgery

    Even if she is younger here in the above pic, she still would have been old enough to show the beginnings of the boobs she claims that are hers today.

    Fact is, the diameter of her breasts now are huge in comparison to what they were when she was 16 or so.

    I can see her getting older and getting heavier and breast getting bigger, filling out and all, but there is no way in hell that those "cute little no cleavage before breasts" were going to look like the knock out breasts she has now unless they were enhanced.... and you can bank on that!

    Now don't get me wrong, She is the biz, stunning as she could be, and I wish her well and much success, but as a plastic surgery assistant for the last 16 years I have seen my share of patients before and after results.

    Kim K has had an excellent boob job.

    Just look at Selma Hyatt's transformation and be convinced that even if you are a top notch simi stacked babe, there is always room for improvement. And we know that Selmas boobies are fo' damn sho' enhanced... and to die for!

    As a matter of fact I doubt that there is a babe in Hollywood who hasn't upgraded herself someway somehow.

    Funny thing is, if hollywood only hired and groomed natural chicks for stardom, without any surgery or enhancements at all, there would be alot less starletts to admire and a ton of mud ducks on the silver screen.

    I have seen regular woman on the streets way finer than the ladies we call our starletts today.]]>

  13. < ![CDATA[REMEMBER YA'LL....HOLLYWOOD IS THE LAND OF ILLUSION FANTASY AND MAGIC MOMENTS.

    IF YOU REPEAT A LIE ENOUGH TIMES PEOPLE WILL BEGIN TO BELIEVE IT

    Oh and by the way reguarding JESSICA SIMPSONS rack.... THOSE TITS ARE FAKE

    Jessica has what we call capsular contraction:

    http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/005186.html

    http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/005188.html

    http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/005187.html

    I can spot that a mile away, I dont care what her father says. she might have had natural boobs once ago in her life but what she is sportin now are some enhancements.

    They are as round as oranges and slightly disfigured unless she has on a good bra.

    Its so sad that they have elected to give credit for the best real boobs to the fake boob recepient catergory.

    I'm out!]]>

  14. < ![CDATA[@ Lake,

    Here find Mel B's obvious breast augmentation

    http://famousplastic.com/category/good-plastic-surgery/

    I'll tell ya....Yes they are gorgeous, but once again they are not all hers.]]>

  15. < ![CDATA[I am exhausted by these links. It is hard to say whose Js are real or not. I get that in hollywood there is always room for improvement but since big tittays clearly exist odds are some of them have to be real. I personally wouldn't get an upgrade but I would get a lift if Js lost hook and turned into "I"s.]]>

  16. < ![CDATA[@lady love, please note that your website does not allege fake arse or J's from miss kardashian..thx..]]>

  17. < ![CDATA[@ Lake,

    THIS....

    http://usversusthem.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/kim-kardashian-ass-gel-debate.jpg

    DOES NOT TURN INTO THIS,

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v329/reylas1/OO.gif

    This is what a hydrogel booty looks like folks.

    just ask any stripper in Los Angeles to Atlanta and New York

    Its the rage. Yes, Kim had a nice wide arse as she developed into a young woman but she clearly did not have the ba dunk a dunk shes rockin now, and thats real talk.

    Thats why she polks it out at anyone or anything with a camera. She is still getting use to having that behind her damn self.

    When referring to a real ass look up Jlo

    she obviously was born with her payload and isn't obsessed with it

    And comparing pictures of her in the late teens to present-day pictures, there is certainly a “huge” difference in boob size, just like MEL B.

    The size is much larger and more defined, and the only explanation to the burst of perfect growth would be breast implants. Kim sports the tell-tale signs of breast implants, including the rounded and super-projected boob look.

    You can see it plain as day. Its obvious shes got a few plastic surgeon friends, a few close friends but to us in the world of enhancements ...we know the truth. we see it everyday.]]>

  18. < ![CDATA[Ya'll better recognize that this is how we do it now.

    Its not just chicks with no booties trying to get a piece of the pie anymore. There are alot of women who have enough in the back to work with but are still getting these butt jobs done to look extra inflated cuz that what men have been conditioned to be attracted to and it helps in a wanna be starletts career

    One of my good friends

    used to through hydrolgel parties

    where 5 to 10 woman get a hotel room and the work gets done.

    Everyone is happy and always came back for more.

    The bigger the better. That lady New York on Flavor of love knows exactly what I'm talkin about!

    And may I add, in the flashing pic above

    of kim

    you can see dents and pockets which by the way are no longer there. She contributed that to cellulete and recently claimed to have

    had laser surgery along with her sister to have it removed.

    thats bullcrap.

    I've seen those dents on lots of hydrol gel recipients and they always get it fixed by adding more to fill up the pockets.

    FYI

    You can also get it in your hips and legs!]]>

  19. < ![CDATA[http://i12.tinypic.com/4yothyv.jpg

    http://photobucket.com/image/kim%20kardashian/blue-fang/27b1.jpg?o=]]>

  20. < ![CDATA[http://i12.tinypic.com/4yothyv.jpg

    http://photobucket.com/image/kim%20kardashian/blue-fang/27b1.jpg?o=]]>

  21. < ![CDATA[http://www.mediatakeout.com/24936/question_is_kim_kardashians_new_thicker_body_sexy_or_is_it_sloppy.html?image=17675]]>

  22. < ![CDATA[I REST MY CASE

    http://i12.tinypic.com/4yothyv.jpg]]>

  23. To not include Jennifer Connelly here is criminal, or clueless, or both. Connelly has the BEST tits period.

  24. cgoofies says:

    I was not going to look at this, but Kim is very beautiful. I wish she could control it instead of ruining it by acting so rediculous. I do agree also that Salma is amazingly beautiful inside and outside as a person. Kim should look at how beautiful she is.

  25. Dick Black says:

    most of these are showing up on everyone’s lists.